WW 11: Pep Talk For Your Future Self
Hello, Wondering People!
It's the eleventh edition of Wonder Work and I'm celebrating by putting fewer words in the newsletter. I want to know how the *length* of Wonder Work suits you, so there's a one question poll below. Be honest — I can take it.
Here's a curious note about the images in this newsletter: AI is very good at making very bad art, but I believe in supporting the human creativity and skill that goes into genuine photography, illustration, and design. So each week, I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME ethically sourcing and crediting media. However, stock photography is imperfect and full of bias. For this edition, I wanted to find photos of people looking at or talking to themselves in the mirror. It's very easy to find photos of women looking at their own reflections. But according to stock photos, men never engage in such a vain pursuit (unless they're holding a film camera in front of their faces to take an arty photo.) Yeah, well, I don't buy it.
So, are you ready to wonder?
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The Small Idea: Give Your Future Self a Pep Talk
The Spark: Ed Helms and the Science of Self-Distancing
What if the most effective pep talk you could ever receive was the one Past You recorded for Future You?
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Nancy Martira
Clew Strategy
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In Wonder Work 10, we explored self-distancing — stepping outside our own perspective to see more clearly. Today, I want to build on our exploration of self-distancing with a little help from Ed Helms. Yes, that Ed Helms.
When a celebrity says during an interview, "I've never told anyone this before," we lean in for juicy gossip. So, when Helms sheepishly uttered those words to Adam Grant on an episode of the Work Life podcast, I was ready for some tea. And then, the perennially boyish, hopelessly preppy Helms confessed that he has recorded a few different videos on his phone of Ed Helms giving a pep talk to ... Ed Helms. Adam Grant was immediately struck by the adorable revelation. "Psychologists would call that self-distancing. Right? To hear from a version of you that isn't caught up in the current failure."
Research shows that when we talk to ourselves using "you" instead of "I," we create psychological distance that enhances emotional regulation and performance. When people use second-person self-talk, emotion-related brain activity is significantly reduced, suggesting they are better able to regulate their emotions.This small shift helps your brain believe that you are giving advice to someone else, which typically leads to more objective and constructive guidance.
Does talking to yourself in the second-person sound way too cheesy? There's evidence that third-person self-talk is also more effective than first-person self-talk at regulating your emotions. Sure, this all might feel a little unhinged, but no one else is going to see it. Unless you publish a newsletter on this very topic, how could anyone know that when Nancy gives herself a pep talk, she uses the pet name "Cupcake"?
Why Self-Pep Talks Beat External Motivation
Self-delivered pep talks have three unique advantages:
1. They Tap Into Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation — motivation from within — is more effective for long-term behavior change than external motivation. When you record a pep talk for yourself, you're reinforcing your own values and goals rather than trying to meet external expectations.
2. They're Perfectly Tailored to You
External pep talks are generic by nature. Research shows that tailored motivational messages are perceived as significantly more motivating than generic ones. When you record a pep talk for yourself, you can address your specific fears, reference your particular strengths, and speak directly to circumstances you're likely to face.
3. They Create Neurological Changes
Positive self-talk activates brain regions associated with reward and motivation, triggering the release of dopamine and serotonin. More importantly, regular positive self-talk strengthens neural pathways through neuroplasticity, literally rewiring your brain to think more confidently. Self-delivered pep talks don't just provide temporary motivation; they create lasting changes.
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That's amazing ... to hear from a version of you that isn't caught up in the current failure.
— Adam Grant
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The Future Self Connection
One of the most powerful aspects of recording pep talks is how they connect your present and future selves. When you record a pep talk, you're creating a tangible bridge between different versions of yourself. Your confident, clear-thinking self is speaking directly to your struggling, overwhelmed self.
Research shows that when people feel more connected to their future self, they're more willing to make beneficial long-term choices and experience reduced anxiety.
Two Types of Pep Talks
The Pre-Game Pep Talk
Record this when you're feeling confident, knowing you'll need encouragement before a challenging situation. Address yourself using "you" and speak as if you're pumping up a good friend. Research shows pre-performance pep talks can improve outcomes by up to 10%.
Example: "Hey [your name], you're about to walk into that big meeting. Remember that you've prepared for this. You know your stuff. You belong in that room. Take three deep breaths and trust that you have something valuable to offer."
The Recovery Pep Talk
Record this for moments when things haven't gone well and you need compassion and perspective. Research shows self-compassion is consistently associated with psychological well-being.
Example: "I know that didn't go the way you wanted. That's disappointing, and it's okay to feel frustrated. But this doesn't define you. You've gotten through difficult things before, and you'll get through this too. What's one small thing you can do right now to take care of yourself?"
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Here are two small experiments to try:
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Three-Minute Confidence Boost
Set a timer for three minutes. Record a pep talk, addressing yourself by name, and use second-person language. Imagine coaching your best friend through the current challenge. Be specific about your strengths and past successes. Use all three minutes! Store it on your phone and listen before your next challenging situation.
The Compassionate Recovery
Think about your typical self-talk when things go wrong. Now record a two-minute talk, but instead of falling into negative self-talk, use the same compassion you'd give a friend. Use your name, speak in second person, and remind yourself that you’ve been in situations like this before and recovered.
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Brand Naming Case Study
Does the name of your business but a smile on your face everytime you say it? Learn how Clew helped one consultant evolve her brand from generic to distinctive.
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The Wonder of Being Your Own Coach
What's remarkable about self-recorded pep talks is how they reveal the wisdom and compassion we already possess. When people advise someone else facing their exact situation, they consistently offer more constructive, hopeful guidance than they give themselves. Recording pep talks creates a way to access that wisdom when we need it most. It doesn't have to be a video recording — start with a voice memo or audio file!
Flipping the inspirational Half-Time Knute Rockne locker room rallying cry on its head recognizes that the most sustainable confidence comes from within. Often, the person who knows exactly what you need to hear is you.
The Question
What would you say to yourself if you could reach across time and offer encouragement to the version of you who needed it most?
And now for the Mystery Link!
You did it! You've made it all the way to the end of this essay. This week, we've got a New Mexico hero you may not be familiar with and one beloved character that you probably didn't know has a connection to New Mexico. So, which will you choose: Door Number One or Door Number Two?
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Work with Nancy and Borrow My Wild Brain
(or buy me a coffee.)
Meet Nancy Martira.
I'm a brand strategist and communications consultant who brings endless curiosity to every project. If you've got a challenge that needs a fresh, unexpected perspective, let's talk!
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"To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for it."
— Bill Watterson